Don’t hold yourself up above me because you are soft and forgiving, and I am sharp and angry. I am not unfulfilled. I am not letting them win. I am not stooping to their level.
Don’t tell me that I have to move on, that forgiveness is the only way, that I am holding myself back by being angry, that it is a poison that will eat me up and make me into a bitter shell of a human being.
So tonight, a friend tagged me in this photo from Wondercon 2012: (I’m the Martian Man-Eater. As an aside, someone referred to me as the Martian Man-Chaser. Excuse me, no. It is the men who chase ME, not vice-versa *snap*)
I (mistakenly) decided to read the comments on this particular photo. When I post pics on my personal page, people are mostly cool and respectful, because they know that the sharpness of my tongue is legendary and they had best not mess. And while most of the comments were tame or expected (cute a bazillion comments on the hotness of the ladies involved, paticularly Joan Stewart, because let’s face it, she fine), I did see a lot of ignorance seeping out of the woodwork. And it occurred to me just how many assumptions people make about cosplayers, and just how incredibly wrong they are. So I’m going to address a few of those today.
Garon Wade and his husband Jamie were prepared for their son in 2012. They were not prepared for what strangers had to say.
(Cab Driver in Florida directly after getting in) Where’s his mom? (Us) He doesn’t have a mom. (Long Awkward Silence)
(Cashier at a Surf Shop, see’s just me and my little boy) Oh man, you were given Daddy duty today huh? (Me) It’s Daddy Duty everyday at my house bro. (Confused look)
Do you think he’ll be more likely to grow up gay? (Me) No. But I’ll love him for whoever he is, so it doesn’t really matter does it?
(Man on a plane next to me, completely out of nowhere) So did you leave his mom in DC or are you taking the baby to his mom in Florida? (Me) He doesn’t have a mom, he has two Dads. (Complete Silence)
Are you guys going to tell him he’s adopted one day? (Us) Yea, but I’m pretty sure even if we didn’t, at some point he’d figure that one out right?
You shouldn’t take babies on planes for the first many months because they get sick right away. (Us). He’s already been on 20 flights. (Silence)
(Random Guy on the street) Where’s his mom? (Us) She didn’t want him, so I guess that makes us the next best thing.
(Random Stranger at the grocery store) That baby’s so cute. Does your wife breastfeed? (Me). No he’s got two Dads so we give him formula. (Lady) What??
(Another Random Lady at the grocery store). That baby is so young. You should NOT be out with him like this at the grocery store! (My husband) Oh I’m sorry are you a pediatrician? (Lady) Excuse me? (Husband) Are you a pediatrician? (Lady) Well, no. (Husband) Then I’m not that interested in what you have to say. My pediatrician said it’s fine to take him out. Have a good one.
(Yet another Random Stranger) Where’s his mom? (Me) Where’s your mom?